Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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