I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize