So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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