she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
