Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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