Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Randomize
