I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
