I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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