I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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