I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
