Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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