Please don't use social media to get back at me.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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