She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
