two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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