the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Hippo gnu deer
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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