I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
