and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wish you could order shots online.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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