My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
