I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
