I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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