There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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