she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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