Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
