I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
