So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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