if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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