Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im six kinds of drunk right now
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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