Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
