Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We are two peas in an std pod
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I am mentally ready for anal.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
