maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
should my penis look like a turkey
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize