listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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