I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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