It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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