I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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