I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm always down for nudity.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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