it wasn't lemon gatorade
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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