he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Found the puke drawer
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
