i wish my penis had a tongue
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
