Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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