it wasn't lemon gatorade
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
