She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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