absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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