Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
