Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
