I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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