I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
