If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
bring money and cleavage
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
