Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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