i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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