I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
