i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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